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Men of Sodom!!!
ABRAHAM AND LOT
ARE LOOKING FOR
TEN RIGHTEOUS MEN
Are You Behind Us?
==========================
Art Thou a Sodomite?
Answer thou "Yea" or "Nay" unto the following questions:
1. Dwelleth thou in: ....................................................................
a) Zoar?...........................
b) Mamre?.......................
c) Sodom or Gamorrah?
2.When thou beholdest a goat, exclaimest thou:..................
.....................a) A fitting sacrifice unto the Lord!?
..b) Yum yum! Good eats!?
c) Oh, you kid!?..............
3. Thongs of leather are purposed for:................................
....................................a) The just chastisement of thy wife and thy offspring?.............
.........b) The harnessing of beasts?
.......................................c) Wearing tightly wrapped around thy body?
4. When thou visiteth the bath, why doest thou so:.........
.................a) For to cleanse thyself ritually?
..........................b) For to repair the plumbing thereof?
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,c) For to lounge around in thy towel?
...............5. Whensoever thou hearest spoken the word "date", thinkest thou immediately of:.................................................
a) 4004, B.C.?...............
.....b) Yum yum! Good eats!?
c) Thy fellow man?......
...........6. From the rising of the sun to the setting thereof, art thou:
...........................................a) Offering sacrifice unto the LORD, whilst thy ..............wife decorateth thy tent?
..........................................b) Tilling thy fields, whilst thy wife decorateth thy tent?..............
.c) Decorating thy tent?
.................7. The Rod of God; when thou considereth it, dost thou say in the fastness of thy heart:.......................................
..................................a) I exalt in the downfall of mine enimies?
.......................b) Woe unto me, in my sinfullness!?
.....c) Yum yum! Good eats!?
1: If thou answereth "Yea" but one time unto any of the seven (c)s,.then art thou damned out of thy own mouth, and thy loins shall be fruitless; yea, thou shalt be cast into a dark place, and degraded, and struck with strong blows, even when thou desireth it not; for surely thou art a Sodomite, and a Gomorrahite, to boot!..........
2: If thou answereth (b) even one time only, surely thou needeth work. For thou yet may backslide into Gluttony, and Drunkeness, and other abominations of the flesh. Place yourself firmly,.therefore, in the hands of Abraham and Lot...............................
3: But if thou answereth (a) unto all questions, then surely thou art a righteous man, and upstanding. Thy path is clear, yea, and thy.way is clean. For we say unto thee, holdest thou not thyself back,.but come thou together with us, even unto the desert; put thou.away thou wives and concubines, and join thou unto us, forever.and ever. Amen!
Righteous Men of Sodom,
hasten away! For straight is
the way of the Lord!
The Lord God in his wrath shall destroy and overthrow all that which is in the Cities of the Plain! And He shall rain in brimstone and in fire upon all furnishings which are ancient, and upon them that dealeth in them! And upon them that drinketh the drink which is mimosa, and eateth the eggs which are Benedict, and all that is brunch; shall He rain in fire! And upon them that worship the Piggy and the Cat, which are unclean; and maketh books thereof, wherin the Piggy and the Cat are made to utter cute things; Likewise shall He rain fire and brimstone upon all those that cut and braid the hair of women, and fawn much upon them, and privately call them "Bitch!". Therefore, make haste oh men of Sodom!
FOR THY END IS AT HAND!
